#39 - don't

How many times a day you say, “I don’t know”, “I don’t understand”, or “I can’t”. Because if you say it more than twice a day – or even if you hear it multiple times from your kids — then this is for you.

While we aren’t talking about parenting techniques today, the analogy is really helpful.

You see, parenting is not that hard, really.

But the challenging part is more emotionally and spiritually in that our children become our assignments to grow because they reflect back to us the weaknesses that we hate most within ourselves. Our children reflect back, the very things that we’ve hidden from ourselves for so long.

This definitely includes everything you tell yourself you “can’t” do or “don’t know” how to do. It’s the easy way out to take full responsibility for what you want in the future.

And if you find yourself saying either of those things, this episode is for you.

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The Simple Question

This came from a question from a VIP. This VIP member really wants to get her first dog. But unfortunately, she is renting and her place has “no pets policy.” So the question was simply this: “How can I go about getting a dog allowed into my apartment?”

My response really comes down to just: “What’s in it for them?” “Why should they do that?”

So, the steps I would say are:

1.“Listen before you talk.”

Ask questions, get curious and listen before you ever try and sell anything.

 2. Ask them, “So what’s the value of this?”

This is a good opportunity to practice the art of persuasion and selling. It’s gonna be a difficult situation. But the principle is kinda the same.

How it Applies to Your Dream Job

It’s funny how much this connected to another event this week.

I went to this event as alumni for the university I graduated from, and we were chatting about the grand life after college.

When I asked him, and the others, what their dream jobs were, he kept saying things like, “Well, I know what’s practical,” and “It’s what my family wants.”

UGH! Please, right now, stop living for everyone else. This is your life and you can’t live it to the highest potential if you live it for someone else!

What did this college student REALLY want? He wanted to be a rancher.

But he kept saying that there was no money in that.

He didn’t verbally say it but I could clearly see that he’s been telling himself for a long time, “I don’t’ know how to make money, there’s not enough money in this, I have to choose a different profession.” 

What You Don’t Know About Your Career

The thing is when it becomes fun and you enjoy it, then it goes by faster than the drudgery of day-to-day, 9-to-5.

Noticed a trend recently of people looking for “remote” or “work-from-home-jobs”? Or even Instagram influencing or “drop shipping”?

They don’t love what they decided to do and the easiest way to get out of something you don’t love is to find something else that pays more money.

A lot of people are chasing money.

But It just goes to “The Art of Persuasion” – persuade yourself to get on board with what you really want and figure it out!  You just have to do it a little bit differently than you’re blocking in your head. 

Just “Don’t”. Because we get in this mindset and whenever you find yourself or your children, using the words “don’t”. Then you automatically know that they’ve locked themselves off to different possibilities.

It’s like repeatedly hitting your head against a brick wall. Why would anyone do that?!

Learn to Ask Better Questions

The point is, ask your brain a better question.

Because what you do when you say, “I don’t know” or “I can’t” – is essentially tell your brain to automatically hit the stop button.

It’s like starting to search for something on Google and then hitting the “X” before you get the results so you can continue in ignorance and not knowing-ness.

Honestly, you will never know unless you try. Don’t let your “I don’t knows” limit you. Don’t let yourself stuck to that because you’ll never grow. 

So why don’t we try more things?

The problem is that we are not open to the possibility that maybe more is possible.

And we are so afraid of “wasting” something – time, money, energy. We hate the idea of wasting away.

So we say things like, “I don’t know if this gonna work, so I don’t wanna waste time and I don’t wanna waste the money.” And then we never try.

The irony? You will not really waste time if you will give it a try.

You will learn a lot of valuable lessons. It may not be the best decision for your investment portfolio. Or it may not turn out to be the most effective use of your time.

But we know that God – or whatever higher power you believe in – is phenomenal in making good out of any situation.

And so, if you go down and “waste your time” that’s where you can see the hand of God making so much good come out of what you thought was a waste of time. So much so that it ends up not being that at all.

You Are Braver Than You Think

But we need to be brave.

Brave enough to figure it out and brave enough to face all the things that they are afraid of coming out of them.

Because on the other side of everything we are afraid of, all the “wasted” time, and the “failure”, is so much good that we can’t see because we are stuck with “I don’t know.” 

Stop being afraid that you will do ALL THIS HARD WORK just to get back to where you are right now. The truth is you will NEVER be exactly the same ever again.

Now every time you see yourself saying “I don’t know” or “I can’t” – Catch yourself.


Acknowledge your fear and surrender and lean into what you don’t know.

I cannot promise how long will be your journey is, but I know that on the other side, it’s gonna be amazing.

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