#29- CLIENT SESSIONS: Failure in Business and not Being All In

You thought running an online business was going to be the best thing ever.

You saw all the highlights. You saw all the great things all the possibilities.

So, why is it that when you face the failure of something that didn’t work, not making the money that you wanted to, that it gets all hairy, Scary.

Here’s the thing when you first jumped in your mind is quiet. You got excited you saw the possibility you caught a glimpse of the vision of a brighter future.

And the challenge for all entrepreneurs is that when you step away from that vision and the excitement, and in the brightness of what could be, your mind comes up with a million reasons: “Why that’s not going to work,“ ”Why takes too much time,” ”why it takes too much money.” Why it’s not possible for you.”

And the craziest thing that all successful entrepreneurs have is they learn how to fail and they learn how to be 1000% throughout the entirety of their business. So, in this session, this is my first time recording an Episode with my Client and that I really wanted to share with you guys. let’s jump into this episode and learn about failure and business and what it actually means.

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Fear of Failure

It’s funny because I think failure is really interesting, when I first got into business there was a course that I was thinking about signing up for an online course. Like, One of the webinar launches was all about, “own who you are”, “don’t be afraid!”, “it’s time to stop being afraid.” And I was like what you’re talking about? I didn’t see myself as having a fear of failure like, but rather: ”If I’m going to fail, I’m gonna fail, it’s good, and move on and get it done with your life.” 

And it wasn’t until about a year after my business that I started to recognize.

I always think I cleaned up but that keeps returning into self-sabotage thing being where I convinced myself that It is better to give something half-baked effort and fail. It somehow shifted from being me being a failure too I fail because I chose to. There’s just something about putting it all on the line and failing that just scares me to death.

What is Failure Really?

We all know that logical response or description.

We’ve seen all the quotes that say: “there’s no such thing as failure”, ”failures is an event, not a person.” We all have heard them before.

It’s a very different thing with the inner part of you that run of the show, right?

So what is failure to the inner part of you that’s actually running the show?

It’s weird. It just like I want them so deeply and so badly that it’s like I can’t picture myself living without those things. Those things by the end of it. Without those two of your dreams.

Who can I how can I possibly show up at the end of my life? I gave it everything I had and still didn’t get there. What a waste. You know, what a wasteful life.

So life is in my head is so amazing but if I give it not my everything I give it partial effort and it doesn’t work out. Well then see of course they work out because I could give it everything I had. It’s like 90 percent that of course is the 10% that I didn’t give that’s the reason because I apparently am a failure and the life that I dream of isn’t mine.

It hurts more to fail on that level than to fail because I didn’t give it everything – because I chose not to and was holding back a little bit.

Failure and Personal Identity

So, because of this failure is so tied to our identities that we cannot help of hearing it. And that’s why I think you’re so afraid to get in and all in. Like it’s gonna be if I were to give it everything and fail, who would I be without those dreams? I don’t know and the unknown was apparently terrified. I was like, You go a hundred percent, we have a good program for it and sabotage that.

We are somehow like kids, we are afraid of failure because sometimes we don’t know what it is, and we are convinced that it’s going to hurt us.

The idea is to have these to understand that after you fail. It will still be okay.

After I fail I will not remain passionless and even if I lose my passion for a time, I will find it again. I will trust I have faith that I will find it again because I found it the first time.

Especially for moms, there’s that passionless phase where you’re just like, I don’t know who I am anymore and I’m probably lost. Because a lot of things in parenting that we cannot control we think that we fail. There’s a lot of learning to let go of control over exactly a whole lot of that.

Failure the Teacher

 “Success is an awful teacher” or the reverse of that is “failure is the best teacher” Which is intended to be so encouraging. But it’s the experience that really gives it the deep meaning.

It’s like parenting. You can study parenting all you want. But it’s not until you’re actually a parent that has more deep meaning or like I’m actually experiencing this the highs the lows, the good and the bad, the darkness, the ugly, the beautiful, and the experience gives it meaning. All we had to do was just know things.

How to Overcome Failure

So now, the question is, How do you like to go here, and get all in?

What you’re going to do is you’re going to recognize your ego (the voice of fear), recognize the fear.

And simply just thank it, “Thank you for caring for me, thank you for trying to protect me. Thank you for your concern. I also acknowledge that this is scary and it might hurt and I thank you for that.”

And then, imagine hearing your ego telling you, “Thank you for listening. I just want you to stay safe.”

Then, together deciding that you’re going to go for it. We’re going to take a step anyway. You’re going to be brave.

Because ideally, what your ego wants above the most is to be acknowledged, the more you shove it aside the more you ignore it, the less you will be able to move forward.

And if you feel it coming over again, just take a minute and acknowledge it. Thank it for being there. Thank you for trying to protect me. I appreciate that. Let’s choose to do this anyway. Try and get that feeling where it’s like, we’re on the same team now, we’re working together now. Then again just trust it.

It’s just kind of like, okay, I want this and I want this badly and I’m going to go for it. And if this first thing doesn’t work out it’s okay my ego and I will pick ourselves back up again. We’re going to try something new because again, there’s always that this is where that failure is the best teacher moment thing comes in, is really after you fail, then the failed launch.

Uncovering the Lesson from Failure

What do I need to learn know? What should I do now? How do I need to grow now? What do we need to understand now?

Because one time I did that, the answer literally came back to me, like you need to learn that it will hurt to fail. but I think that’s the coolest thing, It is choosing to say, you know what intuition if I didn’t learn how to fail then let’s get this over with fast.

Because the faster I can fail the faster I get back up again and instead of drowning. I failed, I did and I’m going to get back up and I’m going to try again.

A Lesson on Failure from My Intuition

Now this time, find your biggest power in your most powerful failure.

And in that failure, you’ll see the hands of who’ll pick you up. Because no one does it alone. 

Everyone has helped. Even those you admire and those you look up to they always have hands keeping them up.

So we fail and when it comes, look around for the hands who’ll get you.

I’d love to hear from you about what hands lifted you up the last time you “failed”. Share with me on Instagram by tagging me @ladymindboss . 

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