#24 - How to Deal with Jealousy and Envy the Authentic Way
overcoming jealousy & envy
This emotion is nothing more than a name we give to a feeling that someone else is better than us. You feel this when you feel inferior to someone else. Because someone else’s successes put to light your imperfections – it pulls apart your own imperfections.
My belief is that this emotion is not only not a bad thing, but it can be one of the most powerful emotions for your success.
Today, I’ll tell you why.
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Jealousy: the state of feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
Here’s an example from Instagram:
- lost 50 pounds,
- hit some crazy goal with their MLM
- and now the company is paying them to go on a cruise.
And you feel envious of their good looking body, their financial success, and their friends all smiling in the pictures on the cruise ship.
All while you sit at home
- eating ice cream,
- worrying about how to pay for your sons’ new class,
- and lonely as you scroll through Instagram.
what is the difference between jealousy and envy?
Jealousy takes something away from you, it makes you lesser or takes an opportunity away from you.
So because Suzy Someone lost 50 pounds, makes money in her MLM, and has friends on her cruise, that somehow means that you cannot have those things.
The “she won, and I lost” mentality.
Envy is simply that you desperately want what that person has. Perhaps without doing the same work they did to get it.
So you want Suzy Someone’s body. You desperately want her MLM success, and you would kill to have those friends and be on that cruise.
This is the “she’s living my life” mindset.
what is the root of jealousy?
Quite simply: the root is that you know you could be doing better than you currently are.
But you’ve been hindered by fear, worry, or shame.
It’s simply an urge to be better – to be more authentically YOU. To find your own value and success to add to the world.
Both jealousy and envy are only destructive when you harp on the emotion and the person toward who that emotion is directed, but still DO nothing different than you have been doing before.
But when you turn it around and say, now I know what I want. How am I going to go get it?
That’s when it becomes super powerful!
3 steps to overcoming jealousy & envy
- Recognize what you want
- With envy that’s pretty easy – you see what they have and deeply, intensely want it too. So just specifically identify what it is that you want
- With jealousy you may need to go a step further by asking what it is exactly that is being taken away from you by this person’s successes?
- Identify a way to make changes in your life to get there
- Example of my first biz (teaching french) and I didn’t see the possibilities because of my scarcity mindset and jealousy that others were getting success. It literally blinded me to the possibilities and successes and my own unique advantage).
- Badge of honor to do it alone ( find some way to get a mentor, or a coach, to help show a new mindset).
- Start doing it and realize that there will be a learning curve as you go.
- Start making progress and stop dwelling in “i can’t”, “i’ll never” land.