#25 - The Journey from Overweight Drug-Addict to a Powerhouse Mother

Ever found yourself face-to-face with someone who has what you want (a great body, successful career, a family) …

… and your brain immediately comes up with the reasons why it was easier for her? Why she is so LUCKY that her path to “success” is easier than what you are struggling through right now?

Today’s special guest puts a spin on jealousy by using self-love.

And the power of her story is just incredible. inspiring. amazing.

If you knew her now, you would never have guessed that as a teen she was addicted to all the things.

Stef shares with us how to get what you want, by first allowing yourself to just BE.


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journey through weight loss to fitness model in 1 year

Stefanie: ” I got divorced 2 years ago and that started my journey to be my best self that was stopping me from fully showing up.

So I hired a life coach to help me find self-love.

Self-worth was in attaining a big, unattainable goal. Then through that coaching program, my coach said,

“if you could be healed from one thing, what would it be and why?”

– if I could look in the mirror and think “you’re enough”. .. Why why don’t I think that today?

What do you have to do to feel like you’re enough? Became the question of my journey.

Through that journey I found the best secret sauce to life and it’s self-love. And I had to share that message with everyone.

It changed me at my core and lit a fire within me.

I saw a vision and all these women were connecting and there was so much love and connection and helping women understand their worth, and being worthy of, and just being enough.

weight loss and the internal dialogue

If you sit and be silent, you hear what you need to hear.

Just be and then you find the answers and learn about yourself.

A lot of women feel like if they do anything outside of being a SAHM (stay at home mom) that they are a failure and they are doing something wrong.

You have to water your own garden. How can you give water to other people if you’re dying of thirst too. You don’t have the water!

If you aren’t alive you can’t take care of your kids.

Because when you are full, you have so much …. being a mom is hard enough, you don’t need to have shame or guilt for doing something that helps you be your best you.

Mom guilt can literally destroy someone with perfectionism. I thought I had to be the perfect Pinterest mom… but this isn’t living and why do you think you have to be like this?

Because you’re trying to prove that you are enough.

Because you’re constantly seeking others’ approval to fill the void. And I was judging other moms for things they do or don’t do; comparing them because we aren’t happy with ourselves. Judging them because we feel small ourselves.

Just do you and love yourself first.

self love challenge for weight loss success

1. What is Self-love?

Is it selfish or is it showing up for you fully?

Filling your cup so you can give back to others more fully, believing that you are enough. The amount of love you have for yourself is how much you can give and receive.

2. Giving and receiving love.

If I can’t love myself then I can’t receive love.

Because I have an inner voice that immediately rejects the love from others – you won’t receive the compliments from others and shine brighter. 

Because you won’t believe it.

Like a birthday gift that is rejected and the receiver says it’s awful. If you can’t see the gift, you’re going to throw it away and make it smaller.

Are you looking for a man to make you feel enough and beautiful enough? That’s not fair to them and you’re putting the power in their hands. You have to fully love you no matter what.

Universe: yay you finally see yourself, now let me open doors for you.


3. Are you giving your power away to others or critics or are you using your power?

Changing the critic to an opportunity or gratitude (“she is so skinny and pretty… I’ll never be like that –> “wow, I bet she puts so much effort” and then praise them for it!)

What are the excuses you are telling yourself about why you can’t have that?

If you really wanted it, you’d go get it too. You have 70,000 thoughts a day, how many of them are you aware of?

Everything you imagine yourself being, you already are, you just have to let yourself be.

You have all the qualities you want within you – just be it and don’t be afraid to be that!

4. Do you have a fixed identity?

We get this fixed identity of ourselves based on what other people tell us we are or should be. I’m not ____ kind of person.

What are some of these identities that are holding me back from being my best self?

How many opportunities have I missed out on? How many friends have I missed out?

How often do we let this ONE story hold us back from our full potential?

5. Breakthrough

If I can break that  what else can I breakthrough? The easiest way is through something physical. You are stronger than you thought you were, you are more fearless.

There are so many things that we hold ourselves back from because of fear.

Just believe in yourself enough and know that it’s going to work out! = this is what courage really feels like. You will have hard times and you will fall, but you gotta BELIEVE in yourself.

“I can, I will, I must!” Change what you “should” do to what you must do.

Have you every driven somewhere like a thousand times and then see a new building until you are ready “where did that come from? how long has that been there?” For years, you just weren’t willing to see it.

We all want to give and share love but we can’t receive it until we love ourselves. Because you aren’t willing to see yourself for what you really are and who you really are.


INSTA/FB @stefiliff

Just Talking Podcast 


Or, if you’re in UT, Stef hosts a free monthly meetup every month.

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